7.00am - Alarm goes off - The worst imaginable noise in the world interrupts your dream of sitting on the beach in Walberswick eating ice creams, drinking Spindrift and listening to Phil Collins.
7.09am - Snooze alarm - Just in case you slid back into the Coastal dream... BANG!! The snooze alarm brings you back down to Earth. The alarm ringing is the only time you ever look at your iPhone with disgust - Jump up and head to the bathroom.
7.30am - Breakfast - Warm Porridge for the Senior Engineers, Pop Tarts for the Trainees
7.42am - Media intake - Senior Engineers watch the News, the juniors log on to Facebook
7.50am - Grab the lunch box and jump in the van, 7 minute dash to the office. Past the butchers, down the dip, around the chicane at the Surgery. Past the European Trade Center, swing around the Boyland Corner, hit the anchors at the 3rd post at the garden center, past the pond and you're there, smooth as Jenson Button at Monte Carlo!
7.57am - Arrive at the office, hesitate before opening the office door, the day hinges on the next few steps. Is the boss stressed or is he calm??? hopefully the later. If you can smell bacon then you're safe, if you can't then tread carefully.
8.07am - Say a quick 'Hello' to Jay as he strolls in with a Swagger only a Chief Engineer could get away with.
8.10am - The Start Line - Jump in the van, tune the radio into radio 1 (Juniors) Radio 2 (Seniors) Radio 4 (The Boss). Look at the first worksheet, grab the postcode punch it into the Satnav and hit the road.
8.15am - 4.30pm - The guts of the day - This is where the autopilot kicks in, work mode!! Get from job to job with the least aggro and keeping every customer as happy as possible. Lunch in here somewhere, Cheese sandwiches (ham if you're lucky), an apple, satsuma, Walkers Prawn Cocktail crisps, Muller Corner, Breakaway bar.
NOTE: By 11.30am flick onto Radio 2, that Radio 1 playlist does your head in. Sorry Fearn I want to listen to you, but I can't do it to myself.
Dream about that elusive lottery win, didn't buy a ticket but doesn't stop you dreaming! what car would I have? The Money wouldn't change me.....!! Would I buy a boat?... why not with 43 million I could have 2..... No, be realistic 1 boat would be fine!
4.31pm - The Call - Finished all the allocated jobs, but still 1 hour to go before the day finishes. Do I ring the office now?....or Do I call in 20 mins time when I'm nearly back to the office? An early call could result in another job, the late call could just mean I'm delaying the inevitable, and I get the job anyway!! Tough call, depends on a few things, who's manning the office, whether can think of a believable excuse.
4.57pm - Look Busy - Back to the office open the van doors, make it look like I'm having a clear out. Kill 7 mins by making and drinking a coffee, new Nespresso machine is slow...brilliant.
5.15pm - Thinking on your feet - Second excuse of the day needed, 'Can I leave now coz I have to feed the dogs/walk the cat/work on the house /its my Mum's birthday/I've got man flu.
5.22pm - Back home - Arrive back unscathed, now to get rid of this horrible kerosene smell!
5.22 - 9.15pm - TV - Hoping for a re run of TOWIE or maybe a documentary about polar bears, if we're lucky maybe a really poor England Friendly to watch on ITV, just to curb those optimistic feelings about winning the Euro's.
9.16pm - Bed time - No late nights on a school night.
The END
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